We are constantly evolving. Even when we don’t realize that we are growing we really are! There have been many times in my life where I felt like I was standing still while everyone around me was doing better, learning, growing as people, and it left me wondering why. During the course of my evolution I learned that it was because there are times in your life where you’re intentionally sitting on a rocking horse. My rocking horse was a bad relationship. I sat on it and it made me feel like I was doing something with my life but I was never moving forward always just back and forth. Now I see that you have to get off of your rocking horse to ever really grow. Once you do that the world is your classroom. At times I still feel like I haven’t grown much but then I really think about it and I have come a long way.
God has a funny way of helping you grow (sometimes through trials and tribulations) and you don’t know until you got to the other side. For instance, I’ve lost a lot of friends over the last few years and what I thought was a bad thing was actually a wonderful gift from God. Sometimes you don’t realize how toxic a person can be for your life until they’re gone. I would never abandon my friends and family no matter how badly they treated me. So when I met my husband I was a glorified doormat for so many people and I had no idea. My husband opened my eyes and it made me realize how taken advantage of I was and as soon as I stopped allowing that to happen I lost everyone in my life pretty much. Oh I was so heartbroken! I couldn’t understand how these people that I would do anything for could just abandon me like that. But over time I realized it was a lesson in my life classroom that I desperately needed to learn. Now I have very few friends. I can very literally count my real friends on one hand. But I promise you the ones that hold those treasured positions would be there for me through thick and thin. And I for them. What a blessing to have those bad friends leave me to shine light on who my real friends really are. And now I dont keep toxic people around. I am not afraid to leave a person or situation that isnt healthy for me anymore.
My husband has taught me so much. I am so glad God gave him to me. I had said so many prayers that I couldn’t keep track if I tried. I am certainly a child of God and like a child I beg for goodies probably more often than I should. God works on his plan for my life at his pace but I have found that my prayers can only be answered if I make room for them. For most of my adult life I prayed for a very specific type of man. I prayed for him all the time. I confided in God what my “perfect man wishlist” was. As always, God knew what I wanted before I did and that man was born 3 years before I was. From the look, to the hobbies that he would have, to the way he would love me… I believe God crafted this man for me and me for him. While I was sitting on my horrible rocking horse dreaming and wishing for this perfect man God literally brought him to me multiple times. Over and over he appeared in my life in the most random ways and over and over I told myself that he was too good for me and could never be interested in a girl like me. Fast forward to finally getting off that terrible rocking horse… I was finally free and I decided to take a chance and connect with my perfect man. I only got the courage because he kept appearing and I really felt like it was a sign from God. Come to find out he had been crushing on me since we first met when I was 15. I knew in my heart that he was my gift from God and I knew that we would end up together. I believed it with every fiber of my being. We married four months later and we have literally been apart only a couple days in The Last 5 Years. Once was for the birth of our granddaughter and the other was to go on an overnight Excursion with my mother and my sisters for the first time. I am so grateful for him.
God is so good is constantly trying to give us everything we want and then some. Everyone told me what I wanted was unachievable and impossible and there was never going to be a man like that. But I knew. I felt it in my soul. Don’t sell yourself short. Dream and strive to have everything you ever wanted because God wants his children to thrive and grow and be as happy as they can possibly be. Those ideas you have, the wishlists for your life, may very well have come from God Himself. You just need to make room in your life for Him to work it all out.
Dream Big and God Bless